Reasons and what to do, advice from a sexologist


Women with normal hormonal levels have no complaints of problems with libido. However, there are a number of reasons that can give a hint in this subtle intimate issue — why you don’t want sex.

Do not self-medicate! In our articles, we collect the latest scientific data and the opinions of authoritative health experts. But remember: only a doctor can diagnose and prescribe treatment.

sexologist, program director of the Secrets Sex Education Center

The girl does not want sex because she is tired

Why does a woman not want sex? You should not look for reasons in a state of health, when banal fatigue can be a reason for refusing intimacy. Sex is one of the basic human needs, yes. But if your body is so exhausted that you fall asleep on the go, then, choosing between sex and sleep, it will choose sleep. Simply because in Maslow’s pyramid, sleep is above sex.

How to get an orgasm for a girl

By the way, there is a myth that if the body feels that it is dying, then it tries to copulate for the last time in order to leave offspring, they say, therefore, because of extreme fatigue, some people want to have sex. In fact, these are simply misinterpreted brain signals: a tired body tries to reach out to its owner and pulls all the strings in turn, and suddenly it works. Therefore, if you are worried about the question — why the girl does not want to have sex, at least you need to give her a good rest, and then ask about the reasons for the refusal of intimacy.

What to do: just sleep properly, rest not only physically, but also mentally — and then already look at the result. Fatigue is one of the reasons for the lack of sexual desire.

The girl does not want sex because she feels uncomfortable

Remember the joke that “home is where you go without panties”? She is generally correct. If you are surrounded by annoying objects, noises, smells, then most likely you will not want to have sex in this place. Uncomfortable environment — so they found another answer to the question: why did the girl stop wanting sex.

And if this place is your home, in fact, the most comfortable place for you to stay, then this will definitely affect your libido. It works like this: your desire tries to open up, but gets hit by the ears (the mother-in-law knocks on the door, the neighbors turn on the drill). And so it closes back. Everything, there will be no sex. The periodic repetition of such a story leads to the cutting off of desire. Therefore, we will add an uncomfortable environment to the list of reasons for the lack of sexual desire.

The same answer can be given to the question — why do girls not want anal sex? An uncomfortable environment, the wrong approach of a partner, lack of lubrication can be the main reasons for refusing this type of sexual relationship.

What to do: remove the irritant. Move out of the hated mother-in-law, ask the neighbors not to drill after 11 p.m. Why does a girl not want sex for a long time? Yes, because she cannot independently assess the environment in order to answer this question. We must help.

Rent a hotel. It is possible that the first time there will be no sex, but at least you and a man should caress each other in a normal environment. Pay attention, we are talking about irritating factors, and not about those that cause adrenaline. That is, sex with the feeling that you are now caught in the fitting room of the store is fun and high, but sex while waiting for relatives to appear in your bedroom is not at all. But the upside is that the reasons for the lack of sexual desire can be found and then dealt with.

The girl does not want sex because her hormonal background has changed

Why do girls want sex less over time? It is worth paying special attention to changes in the hormonal background. You may have recently become a mother. Or got pregnant. During this period, your desire can either disappear in the bud, or grow to cosmic heights. If there were no such events in your life, then we advise you to donate blood for hormones — a decrease in libido can signal a hormonal imbalance, which in turn is a sign of a more serious illness.

What to do: see a doctor.

The girl does not want sex because she is used to a partner

Nature lays down three years from the moment the relationship is established for the conception and birth of a child. If this does not happen, the woman did not become a mother, the body believes that the reproductive function does not work for some reason, and turns it off. This is one of the reasons for the lack of sexual desire. Libido disappears.

What to do: fortunately, our life does not obey the instincts that were completely laid down at the dawn of time. As practice shows, if both partners make certain efforts to diversify their sex life, then the libido either does not fall, or its level can be restored. Why does a woman not want sex? Maybe she was tired of the monotony? Experiment, make discoveries — with sex toys, new places for sex, techniques, etc. Sex in a long-term relationship is beautiful precisely because the first instinctive saturation has passed, and partners can already influence the quality of sex.

The girl does not want sex because she is not up to it

Why does a girl rarely want sex? Because she thinks little about him and sexual pleasure. For example, you manage an entire company, and you fall asleep and wake up with the thought of a financial report. Or you are completely immersed in raising a child. And even if it seems to you that you are not tired, there is simply no room left in your mind for sex.

As practice shows, this is a common mistake of our women — to think about sex five minutes before it starts. And if this trick works with men, then it doesn’t work with us. We need time to tune in so that we get a dose of certain hormones — if you put yourself in front of the fact “Now there will be sex”, then nothing good happens. Now it is clear why a woman does not want sex?

The secret to horny women is that they don’t get turned on quickly—they are almost always mildly aroused. And fanning a fire from a spark is easier than kindling it with damp matches.

What to do: literally force yourself to think about sex. Many women, even at the moment when the child is in the care of the second parent or nanny, think only of him. Many women, even going on vacation, turn possible business moves in their heads. And it takes an effort of will to say: stop, I’m thinking about sex now! The reasons for the lack of sexual desire received another point. Think about sex, and desire will not leave you.

How to quickly turn yourself on

During the day, exchange affectionate sexual messages and photos with your half. Fantasize about having sex on your lunch break with that cute waiter.

The main thing — remember that your sex and your orgasms are your pleasure and your health. And apart from you, alas, no one will take care of it. Why does a woman not want sex? Because she will have to eliminate the reasons that prevent her from fully enjoying life.


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