How to understand yourself?


To be more successful, more independent, not to be afraid to make serious decisions, sometimes we lack something. It seems that you work, set goals for yourself, achieve them, but for some reason satisfaction from life does not appear. The reasons for this unpleasant turn of events can be found if you carefully understand yourself and understand what you want. To do this, it is not at all necessary to go to an appointment with a famous psychologist and lay out a tidy sum on the table, because the methods for analyzing your thoughts and problems are in the public domain. Some of them will be discussed in this article.

There is nothing shameful in the desire to understand yourself and in relationships with other people. Putting everything on the shelves, understanding and realizing your mistakes, reaching the deep processes of our soul – all these are simple actions that successful people perform. Of course, we are all different, so it is not always easy to understand what exactly worries a particular person (sometimes he does not know this himself). Usually, the desire to understand oneself arises due to such factors (the list is not complete and generalizes a lot):

  • Difficulties and failures in life. When something in our life does not go according to plan, then of course we get angry and try to find the causes of the problems. Some begin to actively blame everyone and immediately for their failures, completely oblivious to their own mistakes. Others are engaged in digging in themselves and looking for flaws. In the first case, a person will continue to step on a rake and fail in the future, and in the second, he will go into depression. In this case, it is worth understanding yourself, analyzing the situation, identifying difficulties and not repeating mistakes in the future.

  • Bad mood. Yes, yes, bad mood, autumn blues, winter melancholy, protracted depression, neuroses have not been canceled. All this significantly affects our well-being and sometimes makes us engage in introspection and introspection.

  • Serious conflicts and misunderstandings with loved ones. Any quarrels and conflicts undermine our emotional health, cause anxiety and strange sensations. Interestingly, a person may not understand for a long time that the cause of an unpleasant state of mind is precisely in a skirmish with a relative or loved one.


  • Unfulfilled hopes and disappointments. The desire to understand yourself can also be caused by the fact that you feel unfulfilled, your uselessness, you experience a vain desire for the best.

  • age crisis. These crises are associated primarily with some fundamental changes in human life. Specialists identify crises of adolescence, 20, 25 years, middle, pre-retirement age.

  • Do not lie to yourself, be extremely honest and frank. Only if you are as open as possible, you will be able to understand yourself.

  • find the source of the discontent. To do this, you can make a list of what worries you, and in front of each item make a note: it can be fixed, it does not depend on me, I can get rid of it

  • don’t grab everything at once. Try to solve problems gradually, then and only then you will be able to conduct a competent introspection

  • stop seeing the problem in something that you have no control over. It only spoils your mood and does not lead to anything good. Everything can pass in the future – just believe in the best


It often happens that we are happy to give advice on introspection and improving life to some strangers, but we can’t come up with anything for ourselves. In this case, keeping a diary will help, in which you will record the events of your day, all thoughts and experiences. This will give you the opportunity to evaluate yourself and your actions with a completely open mind.

Childhood is a wonderful time when we are rarely disturbed by the events of the adult world. Remember what you liked most as a child and make it your hobby. For example, now there are a large number of coloring pages for adults (it relaxes and soothes). Rediscover your talents and truly get involved in what you love. It can also overcome the feeling of unfulfillment, because you will feel like a significant and talented person.

Repeatedly it happened to hear stories about how a person seemed absolutely happy outwardly (had a house, job, family), but in his soul he experienced severe suffering. This is due to the fact that we strive for some kind of illusory happiness, which advertising slogans and stars from the screens of our smartphones tell us about. We set ourselves life goals that we actually do not need and are not invented by us. The pursuit of the ideal and happiness imposed by society eventually leads to disappointment. Always correlate your desire with your life, answering the question “Do I need this?”.

A wide circle of contacts and new acquaintances will allow you to find more opportunities to realize yourself and your plans. In addition, good people can always provide you with moral support and help in difficult times.

The habitual and standard worldview sometimes significantly slows us down and does not allow us to see new opportunities. Rely, first of all, on your thoughts, emotions, life principles, think with your head.

Try to find more sources of positive emotions. Attend cultural events, change the scenery. A new way of life is good for looking back and appreciating all the past time.


  • If I could leave only one memory in my entire life, what would it be?

Helps to probe your priorities and values.

  • If my life was a movie, how would I want to continue it?

It helps to overcome the feeling of fear of change and gives motivation to act here and now.

  • What would I do if I knew exactly what I could do?

Shows what you would do if you didn’t have fears, eternal excuses and other other reasons not to live the life you want.

By analogy with the question “What’s wrong?”, But with a focus on the positive. Helps to recognize and love what you already have.

  • What achievements am I proud of?

Increases self-esteem.

  • What are my free sources of inspiration?

Discover what gives you strength, helps you move forward and not give up.

  • What kind of people devastate me?

Figure out which of your relatives and friends negatively affect your emotional state. Limit contact with them as much as possible.


By Yara

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